Climate change is an obvious myth – how much more evidence do you need?

The Guardian

Climate change is an obvious myth – how much more evidence do you need?

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Many people just refuse to accept the facts that surround them, even if we saw 100 more years of it plain and apparent Climate change is a myth. We all know this, deep down. Some of you reading this may have been taken in by the fear-mongering governments or corrupt scientists so have been brainwashed into thinking climate change is a real thing that threatens all of humanity or some other nonsense, but its just that: nonsense. When you look closely at it, the so-called evidence for climate change, or global warming or warmageddon or planetary death spiral or whatever theyre calling it these days, it doesnt stand up to scrutiny. Take changes in sea level. They keep banging on about how the warming of the atmosphere causes rising sea levels , but if that was happening wed have seen it by now! Its been countless decades since they first started predicting this, but here we still are! But they persist in trying to convince us its a real threat, citing places that were supposedly lost to the waves and were supposed to believe that places like Atlantis, Miami or Skegness actually existed? You believe that rubbish and you probably believe we landed on Ganymede ! And youre an idiot, so theres no hope for you. And where does this rise in sea level supposedly come from melting glacial ice ? Like there was at any point massive blocks of ice just floating around in the ocean? You ever leave an ice cube in your drink last longer than five minutes? It melts, and yet were meant to believe these ice caps lasted millions of years . Theyre not even trying to be convincing any more. And dont get me started on this supposed food crisis. Charging 150 for a single loaf of bread? Are we supposed to believe this is due to widespread agricultural collapse brought about by climate change ? Or, as is far more likely, is it a price-fixing conspiracy by the global bakery mega-corporation? When 78% of all food in this country is sold by Greggs , OF COURSE youre going to see this sort of thing happening. Its been nearly a century since he took office and I, like many, think Chancellor Farage was a great man, but he dropped the ball on that one. Its the same with these hypothetical mass extinctions , as if thats anything to do with climate change. Its just opportunistic cherry picking by these cynical and manipulative scientists. Harsh fact is, a lot of species go extinct, but thats just nature. Dinosaurs went extinct millions of years before we humans ever appeared, are we supposed to take the blame for that too? Doesnt mean Im happy that we lost the elephants, tigers, pandas, salamanders, cows and poodles, but I dont feel guilty about it either. People tell me cows were once bred domestically . Can you imagine? This was supposedly stopped because they caused significant environmental damage due to methane and deforestation , but we all know it was orchestrated by the synthetic meat companies. They obviously got rid of all cattle to ensure their current global dominance. Just think; if they hadnt killed all the cows, wed still be slaughtering them today! Then theres this extreme weather nonsense. Ive not noticed any changes in the weather outside of the norm. Clueless clime change believers keep telling me its a global change so that doesnt mean anything, but I LIVE ON THE GLOBE, so Id notice any changes wouldnt I? Duh! But there havent been any changes, obviously. There are no more storms now than there was when I was a kid. I barely get struck by lightning more than once a month, maybe every three weeks at most, and its never done me any harm and Ill kill anyone who says otherwise! But its with these weather worries that these manipulative scientists really give the game away. Urging us to use more wind power but complaining about all the hurricanes we keep having ? They got us all to convert to solar power decades ago but keep whining about prolonged sunny spells ? MAKE YOUR MINDS UP! Some of them even go so far as to say its climate change thats causing forced migration of millions of people . But thats clearly because everyone has solar cars and jetpacks and matter transporters now, so why would they stay in one place, with or without devastating environmental damage spurring them on. Its all a bit convenient, isnt it, all this palaver over climate change? Weird how 99.9999% of all scientists purportedly agree that its definitely happening and our most powerful quantum computers are certain to over a million decimal places that its our fault? Weird how theyre saying this now, at exactly the same time when they need all the volunteers they can get for the moon and Mars colonies . Whats more likely; that human industrial activity actually does lead to climate change, or that its all a massive meticulous centuries-long ruse to convince people that leaving Earth is a good idea? Obviously, its the latter. These scientists have no shame or respect. I cant say Im not tempted to go myself, though. Id rather live on another planet, than on one where every aspect of your life is subject to rigorous scientific control. Nobody should have to put up with that crap. Dean Burnett doesnt actually agree with any of the claims in this piece, but dont let that stop you commenting or shouting at him on Twitter @garwboy