The Harry and Meghan Podcasts We’ll Never Get to Hear
How to Write a Book by Yourself, and other ideas for fresh new content T he Meghan Markle and Prince Harry content farm is facing contradictory supply and demand challenges. On the one hand, Netflix is reportedly threatening that the couple had better come up with some more shows, or $51 million comes off the table. On the other, Spotify has found that the 12 episodes of Markles podcast, Archetypes , were 10 episodes too many (the Serena Williams and Mariah Carey interviews were blockbusters, but after that: crickets ). Andin a mutual decision! mutual!it has cut the couple loose from their $20 million deal. Together, the news stories formed a classic example of the macroeconomic principle of too much, too little, too late. In rapid response to the Netflix needling came word that the couple was working on a possible prequel to Great Expectations , centered on the life of a young Miss Havisham . It was exactly the kind of project you could imagine them dreaming up and an improvement, perhaps, on one of Harrys earlier pitches, Jude the Obscure, but in Vegas. We learned, too, of a private humiliation : Markle had composed a heartfelt and deeply personal letter inviting Taylor Swift on her show, but received only a rejection from her staff. News also broke of some ideas for podcasts that Harry was reportedly considering making , including talking with the pope about religion, and with Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump about their childhood. A list of other possible subjects, its authenticity not confirmed, was leaked by the couple or possibly by the Prince and Princess of Wales, or perhaps it was found at the end of a California writers garden. Here they are: Meghans Content Ideas Armed Vulnerability: How 24-Hour Private Security Can Make You More Open to Feelings Two Girls Talking: Meghan and Gwyneth Get Real About Italian Vogue SCOTUS SHOT CLOCK: Alan Dershowitz, Gloria Allred, and Dua Lipa Explain Why Justice Brandeis Believed in the Right to Be Let Alone Suits Reunion, Part 1 This Candle Smells Like My Prenup Centering Yourself When Others Are Centered on You: Finding Peace on the Red Carpet Suits Reunion, Part 2, with Hoda Kotb The Grandmother Was Extra Red Scare Booked Taylor Swift, and Im Not Taking Calls He Spends Two Days on the Witness Stand to Talk About ... Chelsy Davy? Hoda Kotb Canceled. Unbelievable. What Mothers of Ordinary Children Might Feel: A Four-Part Scientific Investigation Amy Schumer (scheduling conflict) SCOTUS SHOT CLOCK: Kelly Clarkson and Former Princess Tessy of Luxembourg discuss Marbury v. Madison and Louis Vuittons Keepall 55 What Id Really Like to Do Is a 12-Episode Single-Camera Mockumentary That Showcases My Comedy Skills Brainstorming With Andrew Morton and Martin Bashir Beyond Green Juice Montecito Solutions to the Housing Crisis (Its All About Zoning) Cutting Out the Chelsy Davy Pages From 500,000 Copies of Spare Suits Reunion Wrap-Up, With NBC4 News Los Angeles Anchor Colleen Williams (confirmed) How to Talk So Matrimonial Lawyers Will Listen The Peoples Duchess? Harrys Content Ideas Animals Tall Things and Short Things Ruined by Climate Change Slacks Conversations With Obama (if available) Conversations With Tony Blair (if no Obama) Conversations With Liz Truss (confirmed) Mediocrity: What Is It and How Do You Spell It? I Think Im Still in Love With Chelsy Davy Are My Bed, Bath & Beyond Coupons Worthless? I Still Have Chelsys Diamond Earrings If You like Pina Coladas Trey Parker and Matt Stone Can Bite Me Chris Martin Acoustic Set (maybe with the pope?) Im Trapped Ukraine: Where Is It? Can a Listener Please Get Me Out of Here? Coping With Princess Fucking Michael of Kent Im Tired of the Chickens How to Write a Book By Yourself I Want to Go Home